All the pieces

i have this feeling i cant shake, its a deep longing, a yearning. i have so much inside of me that is part of me, but it has no escape, no outlet, no expression. Its so hard to live inside of a tent when i was meant for open fields and oceans. Thus, is my soul. i have so many experiences, stories, feelings, dreams, heartaches, joys, longings, worship, and life. i want a canvas stretched wide to pour myself out on! i want to be loosed from this entrapment that is my flesh and this world! I want to be with my Father, i want to spend my days running barefoot in the sand! i want to be immersed in his ocean! i want to ride on his winds and soar above creation! i want to dance with gladness and a joy unadulterated! i cant take this world and its cold steely bars, its death-grip on me that holds me in reality, a reality that is not my home!! i want to walk arm in arm with my savior and hear him tell me about how he loves me, how he adores me and how passionately madly loves me. I want to tell him that i love him too, and show him my life like a child shows their parents a drawing, i want to pour myself out in front of him and ask him to fix me and improve me! i want to display for him all the workings in my life that he has done, and explain to him why i love them so much....even though he already knows. I WANT HIM TO FEEL MY LOVE! i yearn to be free from the trappings of this flesh, this entombment, this embodiment of sin. I want my spirit to soar before my God and be in fellowship with him. All the pieces of me, will be expressed in his heaven. i will be free...... but for now i wait....

Psalm 71 Forsake Me Not When My Strength Is Spent

Psalm 71

Forsake Me Not When My Strength Is Spent

 ¹ In you, O LORD, do I take refuge;
   let me never be put to shame!
²In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me;
   incline your ear to me, and save me!
³Be to me a rock of refuge,
   to which I may continually come;
you have given the command to save me,
   for you are my rock and my fortress.

 ⁴Rescue me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
   from the grasp of the unjust and cruel man.
⁵For you, O Lord, are my hope,
   my trust, O LORD, from my youth.
⁶Upon you I have leaned from before my birth;
   you are he who took me from my mother’s womb.
My praise is continually of you.

 ⁷I have been as a portent to many,
   but you are my strong refuge.
⁸My mouth is filled with your praise,
   and with your glory all the day.
⁹ Do not cast me off in the time of old age;
   forsake me not when my strength is spent.
¹⁰For my enemies speak concerning me;
   those who watch for my life  consult together
¹¹and say, "God has forsaken him;
   pursue and seize him,
   for there is none to deliver him."

 ¹²O God, be not far from me;
   O my God, make haste to help me!
¹³May my accusers be put to shame and consumed;
    with scorn and disgrace may they be covered
   who seek my hurt.
¹⁴But I will hope continually
   and will praise you yet more and more.
¹⁵My mouth will tell of your righteous acts,
   of your deeds of salvation all the day,
   for their number is past my knowledge.
¹⁶With the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD I will come;
   I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.

 ¹⁷O God, from my youth you have taught me,
   and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
¹⁸So even to old age and gray hairs,
   O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
   your power to all those to come.
¹⁹Your righteousness, O God,
   reaches the high heavens.
You who have done great things,
   O God, who is like you?
²⁰You who have made me see many troubles and calamities
   will revive me again;
from the depths of the earth
   you will bring me up again.
²¹You will increase my greatness
   and comfort me again.

 ²²I will also praise you with the harp
   for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praises to you with the lyre,
   O Holy One of Israel.
²³My lips will shout for joy,
   when I sing praises to you;
   my soul also, which you have redeemed.
²⁴And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long,for they have been put to shame and disappointed
   who sought to do me hurt.

I do. marriage, trust, and God

So i have this story i want to tell you, its a good story, and it comes from Genesis chapter 29. Jacob goes out and he is on a trip and he comes to "the land of the eastern peoples". He stops and asks some shepherds where they are from, and they reply Haran. Something is familiar about that to him so he asks "Do you know Laban, Nahors grandson?" and they say "Yes, look he is coming.". Laban was the son of Bethuel, the son of Nahor, who was Abraham's brother. He lived in Haran, a city in Mesopotamia which is today part of Syria. Laban's sister was Rebekah, who married Isaac; Laban was therefore Jacob's uncle. Now this makes the story a little weird but disregard the family relations. Jacob sees Rachel, Labans daughter, and he kisses her and tells of their relation. She runs to tell her dad and he comes and embraces jacob saying, "You are my flesh and blood." Jacob stayed and worked for him for a month, and at the end of the month Laban said,"just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? tell me what your wages should be?". He had two daughters, the younger Rachel, and the older Leah. The Bible says that Rachel was beautiful and lovely in form, but Leah had weak eyes. Its not talking about vision, its a nice way to say someone is ugly in Hebrew.......in Hebrew Leah means cow...... so enough said. Jacob asks for Rachel and offers 7 years of service for her, 4 times more than required by the law, and it says they passed like days because of his love. Finally when Jacobs service is over he says to his uncle "Give me my bride, my time is up, i want to make love to her." Now i don't know about you but i find Jacob is very rude and disrespectful to Laban and to his soon-to-be bride. Had i been Laban i probably would have busted Jacob in the mouth....Anyways... Laban gathers together a bunch of things for a feast and gets Jacob smashed beyond belief and sneaks Leah into his room. Jacob is so inebriated he doesn't even realize!  The word says 


^25"So it came about in the morning that, behold, it was Leah! And he said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served with you? Why then have you deceived me?"

 26But Laban said, "It is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the firstborn.

 ²⁷"Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also for the service which you shall serve with me for another seven years."

 ²⁸Jacob did so and completed her week, and he gave him his daughter Rachel as his wife.

 ²⁹Laban also gave his maid Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maid.

 ³⁰So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and indeed he loved Rachel more than Leah, and he served with Laban for another seven years."

So the Lord sees that Leah is hurting and gives her a son and she names him Reuben which means, see a son. Because the lord gave her the son. Then she has another son who she names Simeon, which means He hears. She did this because the Lord heard that she was suffering and was not loved. Then she had another son and named him Levi, which means joined, because she thought, "Now that we have sons my husband will love me.", but it was not the case. She had another son and named him Judah, which means praise. She offered praise to God. Jesus came from this lineage, from Judah and Leah, not Rachel. God blessed the unloved in her praise to him.
So i want to talk about some things, when Jacob first sought Rachel he was impatient and tried to rush his marriage by offering a ridiculous and absurd amount of time, and never once was God in his thoughts nor did he seek Gods will in the situation. He also was wrong in his love. He did not love Leah and mistreated her like a concubine. God was not in the relationship with Rachel either, he burned with worldly passions and lust. Leah, on the other hand, was blessed by God and recognized that he was Good. She glorified God with all of her children's names and gave God the glory. She put God first in her marriage and was blessed for it. i think i can say that in relationships we do outlandish things to earn peoples love and approval and often lose sight of what is good. i urge you to make God a priority in your relationships, the largest priority, and he will bless your relationships. Put him first and pray often and your relationships will flourish. The best marriage you can have is based on a foundation in God, because he is immovable, and if you are founded in him your relationship will be unshakable. Grace and peace.

Why?

i often wonder why? Why this, why that? i think too much and let my mind get the best of me. i think the most frequent and recurring thought i have is, "Why dont you....love the God...who created you...and loved you... with a love... unfailing?" i often ask this when i think about non Christians; but really i should ask this about everyone, even christians. i know and see that there are christians that believe in God but struggle with loving him, or never truly love him. They attest to that by the way they live, they live for themselves and for things. Why dont we love God? Why? Why? WHY? Because we fail to grasp the truth about love. We say "love", and think, "emotion, feeling,random chance, fate, its a thought, its affection." NO!... this is not love. not even close. LOVE IS A CHOICE!! did you just fall into a strong bond with your spouse, favorite movie, best friend, children, job, family? i don't think so.... At some point you made the choice to love them, or at least the choice to pursue those things and grow your love. It always starts with a choice. God is love, God is a choice. You have to chose to love God. That's why it isn't easy to love God. Its not the predominant part of our nature, our nature is to sin, so loving God is radically against what we want to do. If you really want to love God you have to make the choice daily to lay down what YOU want to pursue him. We are all selfish, and we are all ignorant. No one is above these things. When something is hard we just decide not to do it. Sometimes we will do hard things if we have something to gain from it, but what happens when the profit and gain is taken away from our labor? We don't care to labor anymore, we deem it impossible or worthless and decide to do something easier or what is comfortable and assume everything will be alright. Well it wont. Lacking ambition and drive to do whats right will make you fall into complacency and idleness. Idleness is a sin. Idleness is doing nothing. We are too lazy to love God. We are promised a crown, eternal life, and rewards unfathomable in heaven. We don't have the tangible proof right now, and as a result we question whether or not it is worth laying down our lives for. We are so carnal and fleshy. We only want gratification that is immediate. i know. Everyone knows. We have become a faithless people when it comes to God. We in turn, chose not to love. People say that if your servitude to God doesn't come natural, or if it isn't easy, its not really serving God, or your not a faithful enough Christian. i detest that statement. Serving God isn't easy, neither is loving him. If it was wouldn't everyone be doing it? If its easy to serve God then you must not really be serving God hard enough..... When you really love something you make selfless sacrifices to show your love and adoration, to show that you place your LOVE above yourself. You give until it hurts and you ache, you give until you cant give any more and feel inadequate because you don't have enough to give. You give more than you have, then you give until you have given everything. then you find that the only thing you have left is your life, and you give that too. You give up what you cannot keep to gain what you cannot loose.
What will you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your SOUL? Nothing at all! You will have a worthless empty life and you will die, and while your dying you will wonder, "what have i done with my life. what will happen to my things, my accolades?". They will crumble, they will fade. They will never be more than an idol you selfishly pursued and worshiped. What is there in this life that isn't temporary? What do we have that is always stable and remaining in the world? Nothing.... even the rocks crumble, they are fading just as quickly as the breath your breathing out of your lungs in terms of eternity. So why do we hope in the world? God is the only absolute we have, but we make him into an uncertain because we lack the faith.... we don't trust. We chose to do what is easy or convenient for us, so we can feel relaxed and in control; but the truth is no one is above chaos. God can control chaos. He holds all things in his hands? Can you fathom this? We take the strongest and most stable thing in our lives and turn it into an uncertainty. Chose to love God above yourself. Chose it every morning. Chose it with every breath you draw, because you don't know which on will be your last. When we fail to repent today, we have one more day to repent of and one less day to repent in. Do the difficult and chose to love. i hope and pray you sense this urgency. Lord JESUS heal our ignorance and forgive our unbelief. Give us the strength to love you more.

Ephesians 5:15-16 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

holy spirit

When we come to the Lord we are given the Holy Spirit as a covenant showing that we are of the Lord . The Holy Spirit guides us and directs us in the will of God. A vast majority many Christians have a understanding of the Holy Spirit but no relationship with the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit is just as much God as the Father is or the Son! The Holy Spirit longs to have a relationship with you, and if you don't have that you cant have the best and most productive relationship with God. Many Christians think that if you pray and read your bible and try to live righteously you will just "get" more of the Holy Spirit. This is not truth, while these things all have great benefit in your life they don't result in you "getting" more of the Holy Spirit. You never "get" more of the Holy Spirit. He comes and dwells in you, and quite simply lives. The choice is yours to let Him have more leading in your life. To have a better relationship with the Holy Spirit all you have to do is surrender; the more areas of your life you hand over, the more the Spirits influence becomes stronger. How can He lead you if you haven't given him control? If you want more of Gods influence, give him more of you.
John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease"

are you ready for Gods love?

The words mercy and unfailing love....are interchangeable. Gods love is never ending and unfailing. He is the greatest thing in this universe and he loves you.....this is so unfathomable. He even loves you when you fail him and when you don't love him back...

Don't beat yourself up over your mistakes, just love God with everything you got and try to stop screwing up. He still loves you and always has.

Much love, Korey

okay Lord, we will listen

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

—Colossians 3:8 

snowy trails

today is beautiful. the sun is grinning sheepishly and teasing me with a hope for spring. as i looked out the window i saw a story unfolding before me, a story that was lingering inches below the snow. trails around that would only be there for a short time before the sun devoured them in its warming rays. a rabbit, curious and hungry, scavenging about my grand rapids home. he was intrigued by our apple tree, perhaps anticipating fruit. how boldly did he go clamoring about my front yard with his big feet, in such a careless fashion. i wonder what inspired such boldness in my furry friend, and where he came from is a mystery. ill never know, but at least i know he has a  brave demeanor. footprints in the snow, significant, but insignificant. important to him, unimportant to everyone else. but nevertheless he has a story. kind of like people, we all have footprints and stories of where we are going and where we have been. Ever stop to consider the life and story unfolding around you? life is beautiful, but you will never see it unless you take the time to slow down, stop, and consider whats happening. fleeting and only lasting for a while, catch them before the disappear forever. footprints in the snow.

isaiah 41:13

"For I hold you by your right hand—
      I, the Lord your God.
   And I say to you,
      ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you."


this drove me to tears when i read it this morning. its such a show of Gods love and compassion. you have a daddy who loves you, a father who will not abandon you when life gets hard. He is a father who will hold your hand through your trials, with such compassion and intimacy he will show you he loves you. God wont abandon you. He loves his children. i want my daddy.... 

tinkering in my brain

Just a thought, wanting to share said thought. God is love, and God in his fullness embodies the word, selfless. God is the epitome of unselfishness. God hates selfishness, because its everything that he isn't. be selfless in your actions and with what you have, whether it be money, possessions, friends, time, ext. because its not yours anyways. Be selfless, be holy, love God.

disguised

oh sweet bitterness, your tyranny takes hold of me.
despotic abuse of authority, you will not lord over me
thrown headlong into depravity, i drown in insecurity


when the love runs dry the rage pours in
you always ensnare me in your sin


oh fated lust you promise dreams
but you only deal out death and twisted feelings
you beat me down and cut my throat
i bleed out slow as you steal my hope


you take away my feelings and distort my view of love
you will not lord over me, my hope is in my God


oh condescending lies you beckon inclination of my ear
all the things you have defiled to cover up your fears
your tempting lips and calming smile sweetly swoon me for a while
you draw me closer, fluid lies, trying to convince, that you will satisfy.....

in the doldrums

Some days i feel like i'm in the doldrums. i'm stuck out at sea with no wind in my sails. i don't like complacency either, this wretched storm has made me realize more than ever how much i despise sitting and doing nothing. i want to be free, i want to be out exploring, sailing the oceans of life if you will. i want everyday to be a new adventure with no wasted opportunity. God speaks, listen. God moves, you go. God leads, follow. Don't waste your life waiting for the wind, seek it out, find it...... Sometimes you have to work your oars to find the wind and get back into the air currents. Don't think that doing nothing and being complacent will get you moving. It wont happen.