I AM MORE!

1 Corinthians 6:17:  "He who unites himself with the Lord is ONE SPIRIT with Him."

Christmas break

sooo...... Christmas break sucked. got in a huge fight with my sister, sat around doing nothing, and wasted a lot of time. i hate being complacent. i feel the most useless when im doing nothing....obviously. i didn't even need the break, im not overburdened and im not too tired. it was just a big waste of time. i didn't even do anything with my family but sit in the same room with them. If im not working to further the kingdom of Christ then kill me! if im not being used to bring people to salvation then what am i doing? i am being useless and unmoving. Christ is my cause and Christ is my life. Give me Jesus and nothing else. dont let me grow complacent Lord. i feel the danger in it... i feel like its me allowing the life you have given to slip through my hands. i need to be back in grand rapids. i need to get back to my ministry.

Complacency is a dire disease. It is so easy to slip into a pattern of laziness and simply not care or not see the point of doing things. We must be on guard against complacency in the Christian life. We must never be content, thinking we have done enough in serving God. We must never think it won't matter if we don't read our Bible for a day. What happen is one day easily becomes two, becomes a week, a month, and before you know it, it is easier to drift along rather than get back into spending that time with God.

“We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father, knowing, beloved brethren, your election by God” (1 Thess. 1:2-4).

womanizing

Our society is so twisted and disgusting towards women. It makes me sick. Everything on television is geared towards telling women that they are inadequate. They scream lies into their faces like, "if you have dark circles under your eyes your hideous" or "If your not a size zero your too fat". Its appalling. We use the media to make the women conform to what we want them to be. We show them images of women who are "flawless" and convey the message that its the norm.... well its not. Never is this done to men, only to women. i don't understand why we have to degrade women so badly. Well, its only fair to let you know, you are perfect, you are flawless, you are gorgeous, your are absolutely beautiful just the way you are. God has made you with a purpose and you are precious in his sight. Don't ever let anyone make you feel inadequate.

home

Home is a strange place. As i was driving there this morning i felt like i was on  auto pilot. My mind was gone, off in the depths of my subconscious; but my body knew the way. i had drove literally 35 miles before i realized i was almost back home. My mind was just gone. It was so strange. Its like i have a compass in my heart. Does that happen to anybody else?

i

Who am i. What am i. What is my purpose? Why am i here. What am i doing? Why do i....
My hearts meditation is almost constantly focusing on these things, and its dangerous. Its dangerous because the answers are mostly disheartening. i am a liar, i am a thief, i am an adulterer, i am a murderer, i am covetous, i am greedy, i am selfish, i am proud, i am a fool, and i am wrong. i am, a sinner. There is a reason why i don't capitalize the letter i when referring to myself. Its not because i have terrible grammar. It is because i am unimportant. i am fallen, i am broken, i am shame. Regardless of myself and the state of my nature, i have hope. My hope rests in my Lord Jesus Christ. He is perfect, He is wise, He is righteous, He is holy, He is mighty, He is kindness, He is love, He is rest, He is just, He is forgiving, He is pure, He is life, He is unselfish, He is Lord, He is time, He is the word of truth, He is the lamb, He is glory, He is Mercy and Grace come down into flesh, He is Adonai. Most importantly though, i am HIS, and He is MINE. Who i am is surpassed by His call for my life and His plans that He has made for me. His greatness surpasses all of my failures, and my failures to come. i am made new through Him, and through His life giving sacrifice. i am my beloveds, and my beloved is mine. i am made holy for He is holy and He resides within the depths of my soul. He covers me, He makes me a new creation, He makes me a son; a son with a purpose. i will always be what i am; i am a monster. but thankfully Gods mercy is never changing and new every morning. i have died, the monster is dead......but it is now Christ who lives within me. i am unimportant, who i was is unimportant. Christ is important, Christ is divine. i no longer let my heart think about what i was because i am made new. i am made precious in the arms of Christ. I am forgiven.

Galations 2:20   I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

psalm 51prayer of my heart

51:1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Dakota

Today at work i had a kid talking to me about how he hates his life and how he wanted to die....God put me in his life, i know he did. He also is struggling with terrible family problems and drug addiction. He is, who i was. Also God moved in such a way that He allowed me to share my testimony with this child. Also God softened his heart and made him receptive to my testimony and he wanted to know more about God. So i shared and he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior! i also gave him my bible and told him to start reading John. Please pray for him, his name is Dakota. Pray that God gives him peace and heals his heart, and also that he grows closer to God everyday and reads the bible. And also pray that i don't lose my job, but pray more for Dakota. i really want him to draw close to God. 


Thanks and God bless!

Serving others serving Christ

Today i started volunteering at degage downtown. It was amazing! Even though i was back behind the grill and not really interacting with people i still felt close to them. God had given me this unexplainable joy and peace! i felt so good and i was so happy : ) today is going to be a good day, i can feel it. The Lord is so good to me! i cant even begin to describe my emotions and feelings right now......bliss.... i suppose thats the only word i can think of; but that doesn't even do it justice. i feel like i have a new home and a new calling in Grand Rapids. Thank you Jesus. 

1 Peter 4:10-11 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.




היום זה לפאר את האל ואת בשם קדשו

Adonai, random feelings in my heart.

 אלוהים הוא המגן שלי והכוח שלי. הוא הישועה שלי לבד. אני לעולם בוטחים בו ואת שם קדשו. הוא החסד המבצר ובשמירה שלי בעת הצורך. אני אוהבת אותו עם כל שלי. הוא שלי בסך הכל. אבא, המושיע הגואל, וחברו. מעתה ועד עולם להיות האדון שלי, להיות החיים שלי. אמ


The Lord is my shield and my strength. He is my salvation alone. i will forever trust in Him and His holy name. He is my fortress and sustaining grace in time of need. I love Him with my all. He is my All in All. Father, Savior, Redeemer, and Friend. Now and forever be my Lord, and be my life. Amen

purity

Lately i have been thinking about purity. Why is it that people view purity as a curse? Why do people feel the need to defile themselves? i don't get it. i want to be pure for my bride, and Christ makes me pure. If you chase after impurity, does that mean that you are giving Christ second place in your life? Can God be active and working in your life if its wrought with impurity and lust? Personally i don't think so. It is a curse that consumes you and rages in all of the members of your body. It will envelop your mind and become an idol. When i watch TV i usually get disgusted and turn it off. Anymore it seems like immorality and being promiscuous is acceptable, why is this? To be honest its disgusting. 
proverbs 2:16-19 Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, 
   from the wayward woman with her seductive words, 
     who has left the partner of her youth 
   and ignored the covenant she made before God.
     Surely her house leads down to death 
   and her paths to the spirits of the dead. 
     None who go to her return 
   or attain the paths of life.

Why doe we want to do these things? Why is our generation so hell-bent on its own destruction and damnation? We search for love in the wrong places and we long for a love that will never fulfill us; and we strive to attain it, giving up anything that is hindering us from attaining the love of another person.........yet when the love we need and hope for is free.....it always has been.

We are so blind....and we are blind because we chose to be. We close our own eyes.

We ignore the depravity around us because its convenient. Chose to be pure and holy, choose to share the love you have and save somebody. Show a hurting person the love that will always satisfy. Be the light and salt of the world and fulfill your calling to be a fisher of men.

aware

Last night i was feeling weird, so i decided i needed some silence and a whole lot of Jesus. So i sought out  silence, and what happened next cannot be described. God had shown me something that shook my faith,  i was so aware of myself, my being, my spirit. Even more so i was aware of God and His awesome presence. He gave me revelation that was so moving. i don't know if i will ever look at things the same again. pray for strength and pray for wisdom for me. After last night i am so aware of myself and the condition of my heart; its scary. God told me what i need to be doing with my life and im OK with it....its terrifying. i am conscious.

all

Peter was in a storm-tossed boat when he saw Jesus walking on the water. Peter thought that if Jesus would just call him, he would be able to walk on the water too. Jesus calls, but Peter still had to decide to step out of the boat. Thinking Jesus might give him the ability to walk on water is one thing, but it was quite another matter for Peter to actually trust Jesus would give him the ability. But the only way Peter is able to know is to step out of the boat. If his trust is well-placed, he will know for certain Jesus can do it. If his trust is ill-placed, then he will end up floundering in the water. Peter’s step from the boat – the moment he put all his weight on the water – was a moment of no return. He would either sink or, not swim, but walk with Jesus. But note that Peter didn’t just jump out of the boat; he waited for Jesus to call him out of the boat. And then his obedience put him in a place where his faith became real. When Peter stepped out of the storm-tossed boat and onto the water, where was the safest place to be? In the boat or in the arms of Jesus? The answer, of course, is Jesus, and for a brief time, Peter saw that. Right then he got a glimpse of what it is like to intimately trust Jesus and what it is like to operate within the realm of costly grace as a citizen of the kingdom of heaven. And we get a glimpse of that too. We see that following Jesus requires us to step into apparent insecurity in order to find true security. In the alleged insecurity of discipleship, we experience the gift of Christ and are enveloped in the grace of God. It’s a paradox of faith: Our first step of faith places us in a position where faith becomes possible. By our obedience, we learn to be faithful. If we refuse to follow, we never learn how to obediently believe. We stay stuck in the shallow end of faith, trusting in ourselves, living by sight and not by faith .“Tell me this one thing: did you receive God's Spirit by doing what the Law requires or by hearing the gospel and believing it? How can you be so foolish! You began by God's Spirit; do you now want to finish by your own power? Did all your experience mean nothing at all? Surely it meant something! Does God give you the Spirit and work miracles among you because you do what the Law requires or because you hear the gospel and believe it?” Galatians 3:2-5 (TEV)

Ouch

so this morning i was getting ready to go to the gym with my friends mike and kiel, and kiel comes into the house telling me he can see sparks in his van!?!?!?!? so i hurry up and go outside and one of his coil wires is shooting out sparks everywhere! so i was like "oh ill just tighten the wire" so i reach down and grab it. bad idea. so after grabbing this rubber wire the current decides to arc and electrocute me like 6 times. good way to start my day i suppose. eventually i fixed the arcing. all in all i feel very blessed that God has given me a gift of being able to work on cars, because i have been able to use it to bless so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ. even some random strangers have asked me for help and i was able to show them a little of Gods love : )

Thank the Lord for good friends!

God has richly blessed me with great friends who are so generous and caring. i love you all so so so much.
im praying for all of you and i love you all so very dearly and i pray that God blesses you in all that you do.

coffee+morning=reflection

i love that i have a quiet house in the morning. Its always calm and i can just make the world stop for a little while. i enjoy having a part of the day where i can just stop and think. All to often i think we get too caught up in the day to day of our lives and we forget to just stop. Everything seems to be more important or pressing for our time......and thats when we forget. We forget that its not our time and nothing is actually in our control. God is entirely at work and holding the time and our lives in his hands. Thats why i like mornings, i can sit with my bible, some coffee or tea, and my thoughts. It helps me to reflect, just being still and quiet. Often when i take time to reflect i see all of the things that God has been working in my life, and its then that i truly start to realize, God is so good to me. It helps me to see the depth of his grace and how its working in my life. When i know that God is guiding me in  my life and protecting me, it helps me be at peace, and being at peace with myself and God is a good way to start my day.  

Isaiah 52:1-3

Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughter of Zion.  For this is what the LORD says: "You were sold for nothing, and without money you will be redeemed."

restless

im struggling with sleep tonight. i usually go to bed at 3am but decided i needed extra rest. today has been a spiritual day, my soul is weary, but its good. i often become restless when God is about to work in my life in a big way, so i guess i just need to be open to him.  and really i suppose whenever God works, its always a big thing. Actually while typing this im coming to a realization that God has been using me all day.... well i feel sheepish. today i helped a young brother in Christ realize that no matter the seeming insignificance of his problems God still cares, i helped a dear friend with a stressful situation and was also enlightened by it, and i was given an opportunity to go on an adventure with my best friend to glorify Gods holy name. all in all a good day. i suppose i can rest well. prayer for this adventure would be much appreciated.

                            השבח לאל כי טוב praise the Lord for He is good

grace

yesterday i had a revelation. Glory be to God for this one entirely, He reminded me everything is by his grace and his grace alone. the past couple of weeks i have been battling feelings of discontentment in many situations. When something bad has happened i have all too often adopted an attitude of selfishness and bitterness. This is NOT how it should be. Yesterday God told me that i need to be grateful for everything i have, and in every situation I am to praise him for what i have. I need to have an attitude of being grateful. Even more so i need to give thanks to Him who gives me all things. The very breath that sustains me is a gift. Over the past few weeks i have realized that the same applies to my circumstance, because in every trial and hardship he is teaching me, and making me into the man he wants me to be. with that being said, this also must be said, God is good always!  Romans 5:1-10  Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
  Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!

life as i know it

so recently God has brought some things to light in my life....things that i was terrible at. i must confess it hurts a lot. also recently i have been struggling with depression since its winter so much prayers would be appreciated. i'm not in a pit of despair or anything, just some days i feel sad and thats about the worst that it gets, but nevertheless i want to be happy and rejoice always in the hope and salvation that i get from my Lord and creator! but sometimes i forget that....stupid nature. also i would like everyone to know that i despise cold weather. and i guess thats it for today God Bless!